Episode 2: Daisy's Song

Last night on the Dukes, Daisy finds a rich, crooked, horny, middle aged man and tells him that she wants to be a star. He decides that he thinks she's star material and the trouble begins.

The way this all started was that the Dukes heard a song that Daisy wrote on the radio being sung by country music star Jesse Colter. She's sent fifty dollars to Atlanta after seeing an add in a magazine. Friends, she got took. Like Uncle Jesse said, 'That place ain't been right since Sherman burned it."

So Bo, Luke and Daisy pile into the General Lee and head off for Atlanta to confront Mr. Starr of Starr Records and get to see a .44 magnum waived at them. They leave and Bo and Luke sneak back in as the FBI raids the place. Boss Hogg was hiding out in a back room with a receptionist that looked like Shelly Dubinski on his lap. Bo and Luke grab what they think is the tape of Daisy's song and take off, nailing a police car on the way out. The FBI guys chase them into a junkyard, failing to realize that the Dukes are such gear heads that they know every junkyard like a lover's face. They get wrecked, too.

Now, Boss Hogg was born on the dirt floor of a sharecropper's shack it's been downhill ever since. Wouldn't you just know that he was behind the record piracy? The Dukes take the tape home and hear Waylon Jennings songs that they didn't know existed because they don't. It's only when the Dukes go see Jesses Colter that they find out the songs are phonies and sung by impersonators to make illegal bootleg recordings.

After planning outside of the Mellow Mushroom, Daisy gets dressed like its 137 degrees outside and plays a tape that Jesse Colter got made for them for Mr. Starr. It has the real Jesse Colter, Loretta Lynn, and some other she-neanderthal named Donna Fargo. Haww, it's so good that Starr and Boss Hogg decide to bring in the syndicate to Boss Hogg's recording studio and record plant. Meanwhile the FBI goes to see Roscoe who plays dumb and acts naturally at the same time. He and Boss decide to pin in on the Dukes and just two episodes in, I see a bad habit developing.

Another thing that I'm starting to see is that the Dukes always seem to have a plan. So they go to see Luke's ex-girlfriend and the rest of the drunken hookers which share a very cozy and sanitary looking winnebage that's stuffed to the gills with drunken hookers. Suddenly everyone is following everyone else down the road for all of the wrong reasons. Starr and his goon are in the front with Daisy, headed for the recording studio. The Duke boys are behind them, and I reckon they do know why their following who their following. Behind them is the FBI, but the Dukes think it's Starr's goons. Behind them is the winnebago full of drunken hookers.

In the middle of all this, Roscoe and Enos swoop in and nab the Duke boys. It looks like they're going away for a long time for breaking probation and record piracy. I must be as crazy as an outhouse rat to think that it's the end. They dynamite Enos' car and take off.

Lots of guitar pickin' and drivin' later, the bad guys, Boss Hogg, the mafia (who complain about the location because there are no alleys and sewers to hide in), and the Dukes all show up at the recording studio. Now, some plans are so simple that they're genius. They use the winnebago full of drunken hookers to come and lure everyone outside and dynamite the studio as well. Everyone walks, on account of a lack of evidence. The FBI men stand around looking at the smoking crater in the ground and scratch their heads. As for Daisy, she never did get her fifty dollars back. I wonder what two sticks of dynamite cost. On the plus side, Jesse Colter did record her song for real. Come to think of it, she apparently didn't give Daisy jack squat, either. I wonder what'll happen to her.